Strangely blue
It started off just a quiet, normal day. Nothing extraordinary. Despite its mundane start, this day will always be one I remember. Today was the day that I discovered my ass has mysterious powers. Well, power, anyway.
What is this power, you ask?
Oh, you don’t?
Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.
On this perfectly ordinary day, my mother was taking a perfectly ordinary shower. I heard the water shut off and a pause, and then she called my name. I got up and ran there, afraid she’d fallen since she’s still unsteady on her feet after the stroke.
It turned out she was perfectly okay. She just wanted to show me something. The thing that made me understand that my ass had acquired some strange new power. Not a useful power, mind you. Just strange.
Somehow, my ass has acquired the ability to dye things blue.
Ever since my mom’s stroke and her slow recovery, she has used the front bathroom because the toilet is higher off the ground and it’s easier for her to get back up. That’s also the bathroom everyone in the house uses exclusively, aside from showering. I am the only person who uses the bathroom in the back of the house, and that has been the case since August. So no one else could have left a blue ass-shaped dye-job on the toilet seat. It could only be me.
The thing was white yesterday, and all the years I’ve lived here it’s been white. But today, it has a little white, and then this sort of heart-shaped area of dark blue. Now, it’s not just common transfer. My ass is not blue. I used a pair of mirrors and checked. My ass is still ass-colored.
We tried to use cleaner, and the dye faded very slightly, but refused to let go. Bleach didn’t dent it either. It looks like the size and shape of my ass is permanently imprinted on the toilet seat. In blue.
Leave it to me to acquire mysterious powers of the ass. And only to stain white porcelain dark blue.
My mother is not convinced that I have acquired a strange new super ass power. Her theory is that the alien in a cat suit is performing some sort of experiment that makes my ass and the toilet seat cause some sort of chemical reaction. And I suppose that’s possible. Strange things happen around the alien in a cat suit.
But I say it’s my new superpower. The ass that saved the world from boring white toilet seats since, well, this afternoon.
I’ve noticed
I have little to no problem ranting and rambling at great length when irritated, angry, sad, or amused. Somehow, it’s hard to write about happy. I mostly just want to hug those moments to myself. Even more so if it’s happily in love.
So, since that’s the case, sparse updates are likely to be even more so. But at least in this case, no news is definitely good news.
Besides, I doubt that anyone other than me is really interested in reading long ramblings about how Yar is amazing, special, funny, talented, and on and on. Because I could very easily go on and on. And on.
Hard to believe that April is approaching already. That’s when Yar and I first started talking, April of last year. At first just in email, and then nightly in chat beginning in early May. The time between then and now has mostly flown by. There were certainly some hard times in there, the worst being my mom’s stroke in August. Having Yar to talk to made even the worst parts more bearable. I don’t know if I – and consequently, the family – would have gotten through it as well if he hadn’t been there.
Thank you, dearest Yar, for being there for me, and for being such a source of happiness. :)
